look at my first post called my life.
Blair, I’m so sorry to hear that your first sexual experience was such a negative one. I think most moms and dads wish for their kids to have good experiences and love in their life.
it is admirable and impressive that you have reclaimed yourself. There are nice boys out there who will approach the same experience with greater affection. The trick is to find one of those nice boys.
Check out a book titled Our Bodies Ourselves. It’s available on Amazon for about $22. Also check out a book called, S.E.X.: The All-You-Need-To-know Sexuality Guide. $15 on Amazon. Find a nice boyfriend who is willing to read these books with you before ever have sex.
Unfortunately, sex is really like it is shown in the movies, particularly for a person’s first time. The books I’ve suggested talk about the need to go slow, to be gentle, and to make affection a part of the experience.
Teenaged boys are hard to deal with. Nature curses them with the highest level of testosterone that they will ever have at any other point in their life. It is a powerful hormone that goes straight to the brain and provides an incredible drive for them to seek sex. And most of them do not seek it very kindly or sensitively. Their hormones make them pretty single minded and self centered. We used to call it the “Wham-Bam Thank You Ma’am” approach to sexual relations. And it’s all that some boys, (and even some grown men), know how to do.
Choose your next partner carefully. Plus, it is almost always better when done within the context of a relationship with a boy who genuinely cares about you.
I’ve observed over the years that it is good to find a man who loves and adores his mother, and even better, a man who grew up with older sisters he loves and adores. These are men who love and respect women.
College gets a little better. The boys mature a little bit by college. But be cautious because, in some ways there is even greater pressure on young college boys to seek out and have sex. Many boys arrive at college still virgins and they hear from their buddies that having sex will make them a real man finally.
Many of them feel an incredible drive and peer pressure to have their first sexual experience. But there are boys who have been raised by their parents to approach the whole sexual relationship with kindness and respect. The trick is to find one of these young men.
Be be careful about alcohol and drug use at college. Despite the fraud that was perpetrated on us all by the recent story in Rolling Stone Magazine about College rape, it is a real problem and does happen to about one out of every four college girls or more. There are those boys in college who feel very desperate to lose their virginity and they look for girls who have had too much to drink at college parties, girls who let their guard down.
College is a great experience in a place where most people forge some of the best memories of their life. But it is also possible to make mistakes there can be very painful. Proceed cautiously and wisely. I’m so sorry for your horrible first experience and hope your future is very good.
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Ooooops, I meant to say that sex really ISN’T like it is shown in the movies. The movies depict it always being fun and exciting and easy as it happens quickly.
It is rarely like that in real life. And women generally take more time, patience, gentleness and foreplay than is depicted in most movies.
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